Catch of the Day
by goji1995
Summary: After the supernatural gives Dipper and Mabel a particularly rough week, they decide to leave Gravity Falls for a day or two to take a break. They find a nice spot by a river and decide to go fishing to help them unwind, but with the luck of the Mystery Twins, it's bound to take a turn for the weird.


CATCH OF THE DAY

Weird supernatural occurrences had been happening to Dipper and Mabel all week, and whilst that was normal for the paranormal smorgasbord that was Gravity Falls, these had really taken the cake, and been more stressful than they would have thought. Perhaps it was just that they were now fourteen, approaching fifteen, and the whole "out of whack teen hormones" thing had been kicking into full gear, but either way, these events had been getting on their nerves and stressing them out.

Such as the one night when Mabel was awoken by a rhythmic tapping on the glass of her and Dipper's bedroom.

She cracked a single eye open.

"Dipper? Is that you?" she mumbled drowsily.

A loud snore from the other side of the room answered that question. Mabel groaned irritably, then sat up in place, rubbing her eyes. She sincerely hoped it was just a loose shutter blowing in the wind or something, she wasn't nearly awake enough to deal with Gravity Falls' nocturnal weirdness. Turning her gaze towards the window, her eyes immediately bulged in confusion and surprise. Hovering in front of the window was some kind of fairy roughly the size of a small dog, with a bulging belly, hairy arms, and the face of a forty year old trucker. The only things it wore were a loincloth made of leaves and a Stetson. It had chubby hands, fluttering, sparkly wings far too small for it yet still keeping it in the air, and, most alarmingly of all, gigantic, saucer like eyes staring unblinkingly at her.

"I see my efforts to gain your attention have awoken you", it said in a high pitched, sugary sweet voice that sent a shiver up Mabel's spine.

"Um..." she said, quirking her brow.

"Let me in, child. I'm a faaaaiiiirrrryyyy", it said, fluttering its lashes.

"I... I can see that", Mabel replied, still lost for words. "'Scuse me for a sec".

She hopped out of bed and went to the other side of the room, the fairy's bulbous eyes following her every step of the way. She grabbed hold of her brother's shoulders and shook him.

"Dipper", she said, her voice hushed.

Her brother grumbled and rolled over.

"Hey, jerkface!" she hissed, jabbing him hard in the ribs.

"Ouch, Mabel!" Dipper barked, jolting into consciousness and sitting up. "What the hell was that for?!"

"We have... a situation".

"What do you..."

Dipper fell silent as Mabel pointed at the window and he saw the bizarre fairy.

"Greetings, friendling", the fairy said.

"What... the fuck..." Dipper said.

"What the hell is that thing?!" Mabel said.

"I'm a faaaiiiirrryyy", the creature said.

"I wasn't asking you!" Mabel snapped.

Dipper got out of bed and went over to the window to take a closer look at the bizarre anomaly.

"I have literally no idea", he said. "There was never anything like this in the journals".

"Good", Mabel said. "It's creeping me the heck out".

"Don't be frightened, child", the fairy said. "I am here to bring you friendship and love".

"Well we don't want any", Mabel said, the hairs on her arms standing up.

"Everone wants love", the fairy insisted. "Now let me insiiiiiide".

"Yeah, we're not going to do that", Dipper said, crossing his arms. "Go away".

"Nooooooo", the fairy said. "It is your destiny to let me insiiiiiide".

The twins turned to look at each other.

"I don't think he's gonna leave, is he", Mabel said.

"Doesn't look like it", Dipper said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We're gonna have to get rid of this thing ourselves".

The fairy meanwhile took off its hat and held it between its hands. It turned on its best puppy eyes and turned its voice as high pitched and watery as it could as it said,

"Pleeeeaaaasssseeee let me inside. I'm so loneeeeeelllllyyyyy".

Mabel went to grab a golf club from the back of the room as Dipper pulled a spray bottle of holy water from under his bed. Once both of them were back at the window with their weapons hidden behind their backs, the two of them gave each other another look.

"We really gonna let this thing in here?" Mabel said.

"Looks like we have no choice. It's either this or put up with this thing being outside the window until morning".

"Yeah, okay, that's definitely worse", she agreed.

Together, the two of them reached out and undid the latch before pushing the window open.

"Yaaaaaaay", the fairy whooped before flying inside. "I'm so happy that you little angels have invited me into you lives, and..."

The creature cut itself short as it attempted a surprise attack, its teeth turning into fangs as it lunged towards them with a hiss. Mabel instantly swung her golf club as hard as she could, hitting the creature dead centre and knocking it out of the air. It fell to the floor with a thud.

"OW, SON OF A BITCH!" it shrieked, its voice so high pitched that it hurts their ears.

Dipper pulled out his holy water and sprayed the creature four times. It started to smoke and spark.

"Yep, definitely some kind of demon, or... something", Dipper said.

"You FOOLS!" the creature screamed. "I am Glethnar, devourer of souls and stealer of faces, you dare to attack me?!"

"Yep", Mabel spat, hitting the creature with the club again and Dipper spritzing it with the holy water a couple more times .

"JESUS CHRIST!" Glethnar roared. "That really fucking smarts".

And with that, it began to melt.

"Welp, guess that's that", Mabel said, letting out a relieved sigh.

"Thank god", Dipper said. "I don't know what the hell this Glethnar thing was, and I really don't want to either".

"Yep, this is one mystery best left unsolved".

Sadly, as the creature finished melting into a sparkling puddle of goo, it let loose its final revenge in the form of a stench more hideous than anything either of them had ever smelled before. The two of them immediately wretched.

"Oh god, why?!" Mabel yelled.

"Ugh, that's disgusting!", Dipper said. "Let's go before I throw up".

"Way ahead of you bro", Mabel said, streaking towards the door. Dipper followed close behind, and together they made a beeline for backyard for some fresh air. They brought out sleeping bags and blankets and slept in the living room that night. Thankfully, by morning, the hideous odour had vanished. The stain, however, took them hours to get rid of. They both agreed that they should really get a curtain for the window, and that they should pester Stan until he gave in and got them one.

* * *

Then there was the day when gravity stopped functioning properly inside the Shack. One second Dipper and Mabel were sat in a peaceful silence reading, and the next they fell off of their beds and landed on the ceiling.

"Whoa, what the heck?!" Mabel yelped.

"Well this is new", Dipper said.

"So... I guess gravity broke again", Mabel said.

"Looks that way. Let's just see what happens if..." he trailed off as he jumped, and sure enough, he landed right back on the ceiling.

"But this makes no sense, he said. "Everything else is still normal, it's just us that's up here".

Mabel looked, and sure enough, everything in the room was still in its rightful place except for them. She shrugged.

"I dunno", she said. "But it's pretty cool. We're literally standing on the ceiling, Dipper, how awesome is that?"

"Hey, yeah, I guess it is pretty cool. It's a totally different perspective up here. Should probably try and figure out what's going on though".

"Fair enough".

And with that they began to venture through the rest of the house, which proved trickier than they thought, as they had to duck under ceiling beams and climb up slippery sloping sections of the ceiling.

"Grunkle Stan? Grunkle Ford?" Mabel called.

"Kids?" came Stan's voice. "What the heck's goin' on?"

"We're not sure", Dipper called back.

"Grunkle Ford, you got any idea?" Mabel yelled.

"I'm afraid not, my dear", Ford called. "I've encountered gravity interfering anomalies before, but this is a new one even to me".

"Alright, everyone meet in the kitchen", Mabel said.

Slowly but surely, the four Pines' navigated their way across the ceiling and united in the kitchen.

"So, what do we do about this?" Stan said. "Bein' upside down is fun an' all, but I'd really rather not be stuck this way all day. Or forever".

"I'm not entirely sure", Ford admitted. "Whatever it is that's causing this, it has selective gravity altering properties, as indicated by the fact that it's only us and not the rest of the Shack that's affected. This makes it seem like it's something with at least a degree of sentience".

"Right you are", came a voice like that of a cartoon mad scientist, followed by cackling laughter.

The four Pines' looked at each other awkwardly, not seeing a source for the voice.

"Um... hello?" Mabel piped up.

"Oh, sorry, am I still incorporeal? Silly me", the voice said, before a spectral shape took form before them.

It was a dark purple and shaped like a stereotypical ghost would be. It had a face like a carved pumpkin's, with its mouth and eyes glowing orange. It wore a cape, a tophat, a monocle, carried a cane topped with a golden orb, and had a large, curly moustache.

"Behold, your ferocious assailant!" it announced dramatically.

The family took one look at it and burst out laughing.

"What?!" the spectre snapped. "What's so funny?!"

"You look ridiculous!" Mabel said, practically shrieking with mirth.

"I've never seen anything less intimidating in my life", Dipper added.

"You aren't exactly... frightening", Ford said.

Stan was laughing so hard that he couldn't even mock the being, just held onto Ford's shoulder to prevent himself from collapsing. The ghost blushed and fiddled with its cape self consciously. Then, it snapped out of its embarrassment and started to very literally fume, smoke billowing out of its mouth.

"SILENCE!" it roared. "I am Seth, the mightiest Gravitygeist in all the land! The laws of gravity are naught but a plaything to me! I am a ghastly ghost, a wrathful wraith, a petrifying poltergeist!"

When the four Pines' only laughed harder at this, he became even angrier.

"WHY AREN'T YOU TERRIFIED OF ME?! HUMANS ARE ALWAYS TERRIFIED OF ME!" he shrieked.

"Well no offence, buddy", Stan said, having calmed down enough to stop laughing but now clutching a stitch in his side instead, "but this is Gravity Falls. This place is full o' spookems and monsters a lot more intimidating than you. A lot more. And the four of us have faced a heck of a lot worse than you too".

"Yeah, just a couple summers ago we faced down an all powerful dream demon", Mabel said. "He literally turned this town into a living hell and tried to destroy us all. You really think we'd find something as cute as you scary after that?"

"I AM NOT CUTE!" Seth screeched. "I AM VERY, VERY FRIGHTENING! I CAN DO THINGS YOU COULDN'T EVEN COMPREHEND WITH MY POWERS!"

"Yeah, yeah, gravity powers and so on", Dipper said. "So what's your deal, why'd you come to attack us. And how long are you gonna keep it like this, I'm getting kinda hungry here".

"Well", Seth said indignantly. "First I just came to mess with you a bit. I would have been gone in a few hours. But now, just because you were mean to me, I'm going to keep you upside down for the rest of your miserable lives".

"Wait, what?" Mabel said.

"Ha, bet I'm not so cute now, eh?" Seth snapped.

"Nah, you're still pretty adorable", Mabel said.

The Gravitygeist looked fit to scream, but instead he settled for saying,

"you know what, fine, screw you all".

And then it inverted gravity once again, and the four of them fell with startled yelps towards the floor. Seth switched gravity once again, and they fell back towards the ceiling, then back towards the floor, then the ceiling again, then the floor, then the ceiling, then the floor, and finally they dropped with a thud on the ceiling once again, feeling dizzy and sick.

"Ugghhh, I think I'm gonna barf", Mabel groaned.

"That was horrible", Dipper said, going a little green.

"That felt like travelling through the portal again", Ford said reedily, readjusting his glasses.

"Alright, pipsqueak, this has gone far enough!" Stan yelled. "Let us down right now and get the hell outta this house, and stay as far away as possible, and maybe we won't catch your ghostly ass and banish you from the mortal plane".

Seth cackled loud and long.

"You seem to think that you're calling the shots here", he said, grinning deviously. "Well you're not! I AM! If you want to get rid of me, you'll have to catch me and get rid of me yourself! But you'll never catch me. I'm too fast, and I can phase through walls. You fools are restricted by your meatsacks. Catch me if you can! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEEEEEEHHHH!"

And with that he phased through the ceiling up to another floor of the house. As it turned out, openly mocking a being with gravity powers was probably not the best idea they'd ever had. It took an entire day of running around the ceilings of the house, and every time they got near Seth he cackled and drifted through a wall or ceiling. Every so often he would use his gravity powers to drop stuff from the floor and onto their heads. Finally they managed to find enough bits and pieces of material on the ceiling to form a makeshift rope with a hook on the end, and used it to very slowly and painfully fish ghost busting equipment from various parts of the house, and form it into a working trap. Finally, they concocted a plan, and lured Seth to the living room. Here, they activated their equipment and trapped the Gravitygeist in a four way spectre field. As he was sealed away into a four dimensional star crystal from Ford's travels, the ghost shrieked and moaned as he was trapped.

"CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!" he wailed.

At long last the curse was broken and the four of them fell to the floor, all of them in a very foul mood. Seth banged on the walls of the crystal.

"RELEASE ME YOU FOOLS!" he yelled, his voice muffled. "IF YOU DO NOT SET ME FREE, I WILL UNLEASH A THOUSAND CURSES UNTO THIS HOUSEHOLD, CURSES THAT WILL NEVER FADE AND WILL BLIGHT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR WRETCHED LIVES!"

"I sincerely doubt your power extends to such reaches", Ford growled. "You messed with the wrong family I'm afraid".

"W-what are you going to do with me?"

"Well... I think banishing you from this plain of existence would be something of an overreaction", Ford begrudgingly admitted.

"Yeah, as annoying as you are, you don't deserve that", Stan added.

"And we did kinda provoke you by making fun of you", Mabel said apologetically, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. "That was pretty mean of us, so I guess we kind of deserved this".

"Yeah, that was... pretty crappy of us", Dipper agreed. "We're sorry".

The ghost pouted before reluctantly saying

"Apology accepted".

"So... do you think that if we just let you go, you'll leave us be?" Mabel asked hopefully.

"Oh no, I would still haunt you guys to hell and back", Seth said. "Sorry, it's a vengeful spirit thing".

"Well, I suppose that means we'll simply have to banish you from Gravity Falls", Ford said. "And perhaps set up a binding contract to prevent you from ever approaching anyone in our family again".

"I will agree to no such thing", Seth said huffily.

"Well enjoy stayin' in that crystal forever then", Stan said, letting out a barking laugh at the look on Seth's face.

"No no no, I'll agree to your contract, I swear!" he blustered.

And so, Seth very reluctantly agreed to the contract, signing it telekinetically, which Ford then promptly burned in cleansing fire to seal it permanently. Afterwards, he and Dipper performed the banishment ritual and sent Seth cascading out of Gravity Falls with one final dramatic cry of,

"CUUUUUUURSE YOOOOOUUUUUU PIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEESSSSS FAMILLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Well... that was a thing", Dipper said.

"What a total pain in the butt", Mabel said, rubbing her forehead in relief. "As if that creepo fairy wasn't bad enough".

* * *

And perhaps the biggest event of the week was just the day before, when the four of them, along with Wendy and Soos, were having a barbecue in the backyard of the Shack. Stan and Ford were dressed in Hawaiian patterned shirts and cargo shorts, cooking the meat and bickering with each other because,

"No, sixer, we are not using one of your stupid machines to cook the meat faster, nobody wants to east ash".

"You're burning it anyway, Stanley, so I hardly see the difference".

Meanwhile, Soos, Wendy and the twins were hanging out in lawnchairs, enjoying the sun. Soos was enjoying a day off from running the Shack while Melody was out of town visiting relatives, although he was still wearing the fez out of simple habit. Then, a low noise sounding like a series of thuds could be heard coming ever closer in the distance.

"You guys hear that?" Wendy said, cracking one eye open.

"Yeah", Dipper said. "What the heck is that?"

Stan and Ford cut off their bickering as they heard it too.

"Jesus, can't we even have a freakin' barbecue without bein' harassed by the supernatural?" Stan said.

The noise grew ever nearer, becoming louder and louder all the time, until suddenly, out of the trees there came a gigantic metal titan, tearing its way into the clearing. All six of them yelped in surprise and immediately jumped to their feet, running out of the metallic monster's path just before it steamrolled its way through their spot, crushing the chairs and barbecue.

"What the hell is that thing?!" Wendy yelled.

"Is that... one of Mr. McGucket's robots?" Soos said.

And sure enough, as they got a good look at the thing, now strangely frozen in place, they saw that it was indeed some kind of gigantic robot. It had no distinct form, but was instead a mess of panels, gears and wire, all of which was attached to several cannons, a pair of arms ending in crab-like pincers, and a pair of dinosaur-esque legs that looked like they could stomp an elephant to death. The whole thing had McGucket written all over it, and sure enough, the old man appeared from some kind of hole on the robot's side, scampering out of it on all fours.

"Fiddleford, what is this?!" Ford yelled.

"Why howdy fellers", McGucket called, far too cheerily for the situation. "Boy am I glad to see you. I just managed to freeze this thing, but it'll be back up an runnin' again lickety split".

"So, how come you've gone back to building evil robots?" Mabel said. "I thought you were past that".

"Well", McGucket said as he leapt from the robot to the ground. "it wasn't intended to be that way. Y'see, I was makin' this latest robit as somethin' to protect the town. It was supposed to recognise threats and take 'em down. As I was jiggin' up the AI for it, it went an' attained sentience and saw human beings as the threat. So then it tore a hole in m' mansion and went on a murderous rampage. I've been tryin' to stop it ever since, but all I've managed is to freeze it every so often like how I just did now".

"So, this thing is basically gonna wake up and get all up in our biz soon, right?" Wendy asked.

"Mm-hm", McGucket confirmed.

"Then why aren't we running?"

All of their eyes bulged.

"That's... a really good question", Dipper said.

"That is indeed a perplexing situation", Soos said.

And with that, all seven people present began to flee the scene, heading into the woods. Seconds later, the gigantic robot awoke once again, sparking as its engines came to life once more. It turned and saw them running away from it.

"Identification: Homo Sapiens", it said in a crackly voice. "Status: Threat. Initiating termination protocol".

And it immediately took chase, stomping after them with frightening speed, its gears clanking, its wiring sparking and smoking. As it turned out, McGucket had had time to complete the machine's arsenal, as it soon started firing lasers, shooting poisonous darts and spewing flames from its various cannons. They were running and hiding for hours, trying to shake it but never succeeding in doing so. The monstrosity had picked up the disturbing ability to mimic the voices of its targets, almost luring Dipper and Mabel directly into the path of a laser beam as they heard what at first had sounded like Stan and Ford crying for help.

McGucket froze it a couple more times, and Wendy managed to clog up one of its cannons with a well aimed throw of her axe, but nothing stopped the machine.

By the end of the day, a large swath of woodland had either been flattened or set on fire, and the increasingly desperate group took drastic measures as they unleashed an ancient forest guardian, something that looked like a cross between a bear and a dragon only made of stone and covered in moss and vines, to take the robot down. After an intense battle, the guardian emerged victorious and smashed the machine into the dirt.

Sadly, it didn't seem to like them any better and decided to attack them too, meaning another hour of running and hiding before Ford remembered the hibernation spell and sent the guardian back to sleep. They all left the forest that day feeling exhausted and beyond frustrated, except for McGucket who seemed to be cheerfully thinking of ways to utilize sentience in future machines without them going haywire.

* * *

So needless to say, the past week had been a stressful one (and this was without mentioning the day they were kidnapped by the goblin acapella group and forced to listen to them sing for a full two hours). Dipper and Mabel loved the supernatural, they really, truly did, and they loved the way that Gravity Falls was full of it. They were the Mystery Twins, the paranormal and the weird was their entire jam. But this week had been ridiculous, each event getting more stressful than the last. They loved the paranormal nature of their beloved second home, of course they did, but this had been beyond aggravating, and it was stressing them out. They just wanted a couple days to unwind and get some peace before they headed back into the fray, but when they woke up the next morning to find the walls covered in ectoplasm, it was the final straw. They needed to get away from Gravity Falls for a couple of days to take a break. Just a couple of days to recuperate and regain their composure a little after a week of needlessly stressful events. So that morning they packed the equipment they would need and a cooler full of snacks, left a note for Stan and Ford, and took the bus out of Gravity Falls.

They got off on the outskirts of an unfamiliar town, and made their way through the woods. They found themselves a pleasant spot, an open field with a river running through it. They took out their tent and set it up a little way back from the river. Technically this field was someone's property, so technically setting up a tent without permission was illegal, but living with Stan for three months of the year, now for the third in a row, had given them something of a tenuous relationship with the law.

Mabel unpacked a homemade picnic blanket she had stitched by hand and laid it out beside the river. The twins sat themselves down on the blanket and simply set to lazing about and enjoying themselves. Mabel grabbed a popsicle from the cooler, and Dipper pulled out a can of Pitt. Before long, they had their bare feet in the water and fishing rods out in the deeper water. As they listened to the gentle breeze and the hum of chirruping insects, the two of them couldn't help but unwind.

"This is nice", Dipper said as he leaned back, supporting himself with his free hand. "It makes for a good change of pace".

"Yeah", Mabel agreed. "I mean I love all the supernatural junk to bits, but man, that shiz was getting way too out of hand. It's nice to take a break sometimes".

"Yup. Nothing like just going out into nature and takin' her easy".

"Do you think Stan and Ford might be upset at us for leaving them to deal with the wall-slime alone?"

"Eh, probably", Dipper agreed. "Maybe we should have stayed to help clean up first".

"Welp, what's done is done".

"Guess so".

They sat making idle conversation for a while longer, simply enjoying the peace and quiet and the company of each other. At one point, Dipper felt a pull on his line.

"Whoa, feels like something's biting", he said.

"Go Dipper!" Mabel whooped. "Show that fish who's boss!"

Dipper put all of his focus on the rod, slowly, carefully reeling the fish in as Mabel cheered him on. It was strong, whatever it was, but with his careful concentration, he finally reeled the creature in, pulling it out of the water to see that it was a sizeable catfish.

"Hey, good first catch, Dip", Mabel said.

They admired the fish for a minute or so, took some pictures of it, and at least one selfie with it.

"It's a shame we can't send the catfish a copy", Mabel said as they threw it back into the river.

"I don't think it would really want one", Dipper said with a cheeky grin. "It's a fish, sis".

Mabel simply blew a raspberry at him in response, making sure he got sprayed directly.

"Ew, gross", he said, laughing despite his protest.

"That's what you get, bro", Mabel said, a shit eating grin on her face.

It was then that Mabel felt a pull on her own rod.

"Whoa, another fish ready for the catching", She said. "Prepare to be bested, my piscine friend".

She put all of her focus on her pole, her tongue stuck out in concentration. Dipper spouted out advice as she reeled the fish in, but she was too focused on her target to tell him to stop backseat fishing. With one final tug, she plucked the fish straight out of the water, revealing it to be a large trout. A few more pictures and selfies later, the fish was released. They both baited their hooks again and cast them into the river. Between them, they caught a few more fish, most of them smaller than their first catches, but it was satisfying to be successful nonetheless. Eventually, Mabel grew tired of fishing and went to picking daisies and weaving them into Dipper's hair.

When he felt another tug on his line, Dipper immediately started to reel it in, but to his considerable surprise, he felt no resistance from the fish, yet he could unmistakably still feel its weight.

"Weird", he mused out loud.

"What is it bro?" Mabel asked distractedly as she finished off tying another daisy into his hair.

"There's a fish on the line, but it's not fighting back at all".

"Maybe it wants to be caught just to see what it's like", Mabel jokingly suggested.

Neither of them said anything more about the fish until Dipper pulled it out of the water and revealed itself to be something quite bizarre.

It looked like a cross between a piranha and a lizard, not quite like any fish they had ever seen before, and every inch of it was onyx black.

"What the heck is that thing?" Mabel said, her eyes widening at the sight of it.

"I have no idea", Dipper said. "This doesn't look like any fish I've ever heard of".

The fish was unnervingly still.

"Is it... dead?" Mabel asked tentatively as they laid it out on the ground.

"Looks that way".

Yet immediately after Dipper had said that, the fish began to spasm, every bit of it twitching and writhing. The twins shared a glance, both of them wearing identical expressions of unease. The spasming became fiercer and more intense, until the flesh of the fish started rippling like waves, and before they knew it, black, frothing slime was pouring out of every inch of it. The twins yelped and instinctively leapt back from it, watching it in a mix of horror and curiosity.

The black slime kept on coming, and slowly the entire fish dissolved into it, becoming a puddle, then coagulating into an enormous mound of gelatinous goop. The mound kept growing and growing, before suddenly the exterior hardened and it became motionless again.

"So... this is weird", Mabel said.

"You can say that again", Dipper agreed. "Looks like the supernatural followed us".

"Come on, we couldn't just have had ONE day off?" Mabel inquired of the hardened mass. "What even is that thing now?"

"Looks like some kind of cocoon".

And sure enough, a gigantic tear split open in the middle of it, and something began to rise from the hole. It rose to its full height, and the twins gasped in shock at the sight of it. The thing was obsidian black just as the fish had been, but it was totally different. It was humanoid, a little ways taller than any human being. It had scaly skin, webbed hands and feet, and a fish-like face, with big, flabby lips and bulging, glazed over eyes, rows of sharp, needle like teeth in its mouth. The thing opened its mouth and let out a warbling shriek, a noise so loud and hideous that it forced Dipper and Mabel to cover their ears. They looked at one another, nodded, and entered fighting stances, keeping close together.

"Alright you butt ugly fish demon thing", Mabel goaded, "give us what you got!"

"You've got nothing that we can't take", Dipper added, glaring at the monster.

The creature took a step towards them, growling hungrily. Then, it started to chant in an unnatural voice, intoning in some blasphemous long dead language.

"Garrum kret namool", it chanted. "Garrum kret namool".

And with that, the whole world seemed to suddenly become dark, shrouded in shadows. From the shadows, ghostly forms took shape, spectral eyes of green and red glaring at them. With every step the creature took towards them, the shadow monsters came closer too, slowly encroaching on them and surrounding them.

"Brace yourself Mabel!", Dipper said anxiously as the creature grew unnervingly close, the two of them tightening their fists, ready to face down the monster.

But then, just as the monster reached out its clammy hands toward them, it stopped. The shadow monsters stopped with it, passing confused glances between themselves, whispering in their bizarre language. Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, just as confused, sweat beading their foreheads from the tension. The creature took a long whiff of the air, looked all around itself, and then dismissed the shadow beings with a wave of its hand. Immediately the world returned to normal, light filling their eyes again as the shadowy creatures vanished with a hiss of disappointment.

"What year is it?" the creature said, its voice no less horrid than before but filled with bafflement.

"Wait, you speak English?" Dipper asked, sharing a stunned glance with Mabel.

"What year is it?" the creature reiterated.

"Um... 2014?" Mabel answered apprehensively.

"Ohhh, oh man", the monster sighed, putting its head in its hands. "Wow, okay, false alarm. Sorry about the confusion".

The twins remained silent, simply staring, not knowing what to say or think. The creature started laughing embarrassedly.

"Oh man, you are not going to believe this", it said. "I'm a priest of the ancient city of Yilethruun. I'm supposed to be the one to wake our master, the mighty Nexacatlyus, when the stars are right, but... oh boy, wow, I really messed this up, that's not gonna be for another few thousand years. Adoy", it finished, smacking itself on the forehead with a resultant squelching noise.

"Um..." was all Dipper could said.

"This is... I... uh", was all Mabel managed.

"Yep, sorry 'bout that", the monster said, scratching the back of its neck. "Kinda freaked you out for nothing there. Well, guess I'll be on my way. You guys don't have to worry about the chaos and death that mighty Nexacatlyus would unleash on earth. That'll be your descendants' problem. Toodles".

And with that, the creature immediately melted back into a puddle of black goop and reformed itself into a fish once again. It started flopping on the ground, slowly inching its way back to the river's edge before it hopped back into the water with one final flail. And then, it was gone, and it was as if none of it had ever happened in the first place.

For a solid minute, Dipper and Mabel stood frozen in place, opening and closing their mouths in feeble attempts to speak. Finally, they slowly looked towards each other again. Then, they burst out laughing. They laughed and laughed until they collapsed to the ground and their sides were set to split.

"What?!" Mabel cackled. "What the fuck?!"

"What the hell was all that?!" Dipper said as he slowly began to calm down, the occasional stray laugh still escaping him.

"I... I have no idea", Mabel admitted as she too started to settle down. "How? Why?"

"We're cursed, aren't we?" Dipper said, grinning. "We're gonna run into the supernatural no matter where we go".

"Yep, looks that way", Mabel said, grinning back at him.

She rolled onto her back and looked up at the sky.

"Once the Mystery twins, always the Mystery Twins".


End file.
